Whisky-Whiskey, Bang-bang

Whisky – Scottish dialect. (uisge beatha)

Whiskey – Irish dialect. (uisce beatha)

In either case: Water of Life

A spirit that is distilled from a fermented grain mash (essentially beer wort) that can be made up of a variety of grains or a single grain. This is a highly regulated spirit and the specific styles and classes are recognized under international trade agreements. The various regulations make-up a list that would reach the length of your arm, but to name a few: the grain bill, pot still vs. continuous still, aging requirements, barrel requirements, alcoholic strength, place of origin, and so on…

At the moment I think my favorite variation of W (by the way, from here on Whisky/Whiskey will be referred to as “W”) is Scotch. Though there are times that various wines, beers, and spirits hit my favorite list I am always overjoyed when something comes around that pushes into first place, so I am bound to contradict myself somewhere along the way. Regardless I think Scotch and the traditions there-in that still lead to such distinct variation between labels and styles is ridiculously entertaining. Although I wanted to address W in general, so I will try not to get stuck into Scotch.

I do break W into a few discernable categories myself, but it has much more to do with drinking style and consumption quantity, three to be exact. These are a far cry from anything that is anything near international recognition. All classes are created equally but with various reasons for their interest.

Cowboy W: The Cowboy designation is reserved for W that is generally inexpensive ($17-$30) and designed for drinking. Drinking in the case indicates W for mixing, shooting, or straight-up style swigging (note that I did not say sipping.) This is a great bracket for W to fall into, it has many perks. My favorite has to be the man factor; this is essentially due to old western movies, hence the class name. The cowboy walks into the saloon and orders a shot of W, takes it down, and then orders another. It works the same when you are hangin’ out with friends. Swigging on some straight-up W earns some respect points with the guys and the gals on some heavily engrained level. Other perks are the price, mixed drinks, and accessibility. This to me is a “Drinking with Intent” W. I can recall a recent B-day in which a bottle of Buffalo Trace Bourbon was split amongst the two of us, it went down easy……

Gents W: This is probably where I spend 60% of my time with W, with Cowboy making up about 35%, and Respect rounding out with 5%. This to me represents a highly drinkable W that is smooth and balanced with enough complexity to entertain, but not to overwhelm. This is the kind of W that you would enjoy on X-mas morning with some brothers or with your best friends over a good cigar after dinner. This one has the sophistication factor; this is an indication that you appreciate the finer things in life, and you feel that others should too. I spend most of my time in this category because you may dent the bank account ($50-$100), but you won’t break it while drinking some of the most impressive W that I have ever met. Currently, at this moment, I am sipping on Chieftains bottling of an 11 year old W from the Glendullan distillery. This W literally approaches the mouth-feel of clarified butter, and that texture alone is enough to keep me coming back to the glass. This category should be a flavorful W that has a pleasant texture and alcoholic strength of 40-50 degrees leaving it balanced enough to drink without cutting with water. Although if it is your choice to add a touch of water to the W here it does not weaken your position as it might under the Cowboy designation.

Respect the W: And we arrive here. Not underutilized voluntarily (remember 5% of my time is spent here), but this particular category has a tendency to be cost prohibitive. This W has the Connoisseur factor; as such, if you have tried that than you have a good point of reference for judging quality. First we will address age, in this category I feel that this starts at around the 18 years old mark. Not because of anything to do with legalities I assure you. This is where most W takes a significant leap in price. A W of 18 years represents over 20% of the average US lifespan, and as such must be respected even when W of 25 and 30 years or more are floating around out there. None the less this is a spirit that has been alive, and in barrel for eighteen or more years, pretty impressive. A great example of this type of W is Bruichladdich Black Art. This is a 19 year old W that spent its first two years in bourbon barrels and every year there after was racked into a barrel of varying origin; wine, sherry, other W, brandy, port, and on, and on... You’re job is to sip on this ethereal W and attempt to identify what is coming at you through this highly complex glass of W that has actually “lived” a life. Extraordinary age is one factor, barrel usage another, and the last that I want to approach is cask strength. Cask strength W is just as it sounds. As W sits in barrel and ages over extended periods of time the alcoholic strength of that W increases through evaporation of the water with-in the barrel, they call the evaporation the Angels Share. Essentially God is taxing the producers of anything that barrel ages with a portion of their product lost to evaporation. Anyway, the end product in the world of W is called cask strength and typically represents W that is of 50 degrees or more in alcohol. These can be wonderful drinks of W, but for me must always be cut by water to become enjoyable. I find that with these W I will sometimes cut the solution with as much as 30-40% water to achieve balance. Unfortunately, by my taste this often dilutes the flavors of these fiery W to the point in which it distracts from their enjoyment.

So whether you are a Cowboy, Gent or you simply Respect the W you are essentially right in your opinions for different reasons. Such is the beauty of individual preference and tastes.

Cheers

Drinking with Intent

I believe that drinking with intent is absolutely acceptable in the right situation, on the other hand there are situations in which drinking with intent can actually become an issue. Inebriation can be an absolutely beautiful thing. Sometimes it can help with a bad day, week, month, or job you must do. Sometimes it can just help you sleep through frustration. Sometimes it helps you achieve a pure, ethereal emotion while celebrating with friends. Sometimes it can land you in jail at the end of what proves to be an increasingly long night. As a result drinking with intent should be reserved for those that are mature enough understand its application and consequences. As I write this I must admit that little warmth in the belly leads to a free flowing opinion, so to speak.

The bar/party experience: Unknown people are all around you, and you begin ordering drinks with a group of your friends. The night progresses and this is what you see around you. There are a bunch of guys around and they are hardly dressed for a proper event. Baseball caps are on sideways, jersey’s replacing dress shirts and raggedy jeans that don’t fit. You also observe all of the ladies running around with not so perfectly fitted tiny little black dresses and four hundred dollar heels. The parties on at this point and, even though the brothers showed up underdressed, let’s go. The crowd starts drinking with intent and the party builds. About half-way through the party the hardly mature start to drop like flies (age does not matter here, it is a mental maturity.) Some of the ladies are nearly breaking their ankles trying to maintain the heels they are in with a solid buzz, and the guys are starting to get a little too cocky. An hour before the party is over some of those hanger-on hardly matures that were all cocky earlier get in a fight and the other semi-matures are just drunk enough to run out to watch. The fight happening and breaking up is usually sign enough for the semi-mature to run out to their cars and take off to avoid trouble, plus the scene is dying. If at this point you are still around you may work your way back into the room long enough to notice that the girls have entirely forgotten how fitted those skirts weren’t and the remaining guys are desperately pawing away. While some of the true hanger-ons of the hardly matures are barfing in the bathroom or actually falling all over themselves around the room. I mean really, grown-ass men that are not maintaining themselves, really? You are not safe in this situation. If you are observing this while drinking a bit more and just finding the whole scene infuriating and comical at the same time, you may well be the mature. Look out. You prove this when all your friends are ready to go and somehow you find your car, jump behind the wheel, and proceed to explain how you are not that bad of a driver when you have been drinking. I will admit that in this instance I am that moron, and I will admit that I will probably drive away again sometime down the road. I only hope to be strong enough to accept the consequences when they come...... It’s something to think about really.

The home experience: Friends and family sitting around talking while enjoying a few drinks, everybody is under control and enjoying good conversation. Of course, as the glasses fill the conversation grows in volume, the music grows louder in the background, and the smokers break for the outdoors to enjoy what is alcohols best friend. I nice little cigarette break. The smokers will have a tendency to disappear together and for long periods of time, please forgive us, we love you. There may be a bit of gossip forming here and there, but overall the group is in good spirits. This is a situation in which somebody is bound to extend their confidence in their ability to hold their liquor beyond its threshold. At the end of the night, at a private party, if somebody does go beyond their ability it is nearly acceptable. You are amongst those who love you. You will be taken care of, and lovingly left to sleep in the floor. The next day you will have something to help with the headache, lots of water, and allowing that your stomach will accept it, a bit of breakfast and, god-willing a Bloody Mary. All will be well and aside from a little (or a lot) of chiding you will survive.

A joyous occasion, a wedding of course: This one comes quite directly from personal experience and is a very dear one to me so please, bear with me.

The first night that I will recall is that of the night before celebration for the official wedding date of our close friends. Oddly enough they were married shortly before their wedding day for explainable reasons that I shall not go into. None the less we had a bash at our favorite local dive-bar the night before the official day. We were drinking with intent. The prettiest young bridesmaid had a good ole’ time drinking lot’s of juicy drinks along with some sweet shots. At the end of the very enjoyable night we all (this is the maturity part) jump in a cab and head on home. The next morning that beautiful little bridesmaid had a dangerously shitty hangover (this is the consequences part.)

We will now talk of night two, which is my own experience remembered in a teary eyed, fond rendition. Same wedding and I wish to communicate that this couple means the world to me. I am the Best Man, and in my mind that means it is my duty to relieve whatever stress I can throughout the event and give a toast. Of course when things are perfect they go well, and that couple got hitched without incident. Then the corks started coming out of the bubbly for the toast, and this is where we went… I begin pulling corks and pouring glasses getting ready for the big toasts of the evening and in good form I am sampling to ensure things are correct (and calm the nerves.) The Maid of Honor gives her toast efficiently and moves on in good form. I jump up and get all teary-eyed while I give the toast in which I had drawn a complete blank, luckily the love in my heart took over and delivered me a room full of likewise teary-eyed loved ones. After that, I drank with intent. It’s almost embarrassing today to think of myself walking around a formal event drinking out of the bottle, but it remains one of the most memorable experiences in my life! This was one of the ethereal moments….. Congrats Liz and Josh, March 23, 2006.

This leads me to a conclusion, and I will point out that I have certainly performed at various maturity levels throughout my experience with alcohol, and save a few situations may revisit trouble again down the road. I only hope that when I hit that trouble my friends will be there to get my back as I would theirs. At the same time I will use this text as a personal reference to try to ensure that in the future I act more responsibly with alcohol when I am not “safe” and hope that you will do the same. All parties should have a happy ending for all of the guests. When you are going to drink with intent it is okay, but you must surround yourself with those who love you. You must also recognize throughout the night that you may be the one that another will need to depend on.

Cheers